They say nothing can truly prepare you for motherhood and it’s true. Its the best, most disgusting, most tiring, most thankless, most rewarding, most amazing job there is. I’ve been a mom for a little over a year and thought it’d be fun to share some of the wisdom I have gained since becoming a mom.
- If your child eats raisins, you will see them again…in their poop.
- I can function on practically no sleep. I always thought I needed a solid 9 hours of sleep to properly function the next day. Turns out I can survive on just 4 hours of interrupted sleep.
- How unproductive I was pre-kids. How did I not rule the world pre-kids or at least accomplish every thing on my to-do list? I had so much free time and yet I have no clue how I spent that time.
- I became the best multitasker. I can cook two meals (one for Hazel and one for us) , clean the house, play peek-a-boo, feed the dogs, stop Hazel from eating the dog food, blow dry my hair, call the doctors office, and keep a tiny human alive all at the same time.
- 6:30am is actually sleeping in. I used to think 9am was sleeping in but I was wrong.
- Cold food doesn’t taste that bad. I’m always the last to eat and when I do sit down to eat, I have to get up a million times because Hazel always knocks her water cup off the tray.
- Food that’s been chewed up and spit out isn’t that bad. Sometimes it’s easier to just lick off whatever food has been smeared on you than it is to find a napkin.
- How to eat really fast.
- How to shower really fast…and how to go 12 days without washing your hair.
- Basically how to do everything really fast.
- Having a baby is the perfect excuse for being late. Late for an appointment? Sorry, the baby got hungry right as we were leaving the house so I had to nurse her. Late for dinner? Sorry, the baby had a blowout. Super late for your lunch date? Sorry, the baby got hungry so I had to feed her and then right when I got her in the car seat, she had a blowout. Even if it’s not true, nobody will question you.
- Touching another persons booger, poop, or pee isn’t as gross as it sounds. You’d think having someone poop all over your clothes would be the most disgusting thing ever, but when it’s your baby’s poop, you just wipe it off with a baby wipe and continue about your day.
- Baby wipes are an amazing stain remover.
- You’ll gladly have sleepless nights, dirty hair, and be dressed in poop clothes because your baby is the cutest thing ever and makes you so happy.