As parents, we want to teach our kids right from wrong. We want to teach our kids what is acceptable or “good” behavior to have. And to do this, parents often spend time correcting the misbehavior. Parents often think that if they don’t tell their child when they do something “wrong”, their child won’t learn to do it differently, they won’t learn what the “right” way.
But that is actually one of the biggest myths in parenting. More effective than correcting our children when they misbehave, is acknowledging them when they behave well. Creating a positive association when your child behaves appropriately, will reinforce that good behavior and encourage your child to continue that behavior, more so than creating a negative association to an inappropriate behavior.
We have more influence over our child’s behavior when we use positivity as the teacher. That means focusing on the good, seeing the good, and acknowledging the good. And the amazing thing is that when we focus on seeing the good, the good gets better and we see more and more and more good.
I challenge you to try to catch your child doing good three times a day, and acknowledge your child for that. For example “I noticed how you gently rubbed baby brothers feet and he felt so loved.” or “Thank you for bringing your dish to the sink. It makes cleaning up from dinner so much easier for me.”